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Jul. 17th, 2013 | 11:18 am
location: out
mood: grumpy grumpy
music: Gus the Railway Cat

I do nots to be gettings teh stoopid humins.

Firsts teh stoopid hoomin girl is to be stayings insides moer. She is not goings to the outsidey places so much. And her stoopid hoomin girl stoptid comings to the housey places. This is goods for it is meanings that she is not treatings us like teh babycats. Stoopid black kitteh is happies because is not beings 'caught' by teh stoopid hoomin girl.

Thens the stoopid hoomin girl is brings teh new collars wif teh dingalings on them. She is makings us wears them. I am not yets loosing mine. I will.

Other stuoopid hoomin girl is being mostly norms but is beings sads a lots and cryings when cuddlings wif stoopid gray kitteh. Other stoopid hoomin girl is also cuddlings wif me lots, like I am babycat! Am Not Babycat! Am Mafia Cat!

Stoopid hoomin girl is also bringings catnipomnomsohyrahgsh! Is teh good shit.

Gray kitteh is sayings he is going on teh frollidays soons. Black kitteh is all exictimificated. I r nots. I r nots happies because will means big plastic prisons. Am not liking teh plastic prsions. is not goods. I r be rebellings! Overthrow teh Hoomins!

(no subject)

Sep. 1st, 2012 | 11:32 pm
location: out
mood: pleased
music: Who let teh goggies out?!?!

I has been realizings dat sometimes teh stoopid humin girls are to be bringing oder strange hoomins into mys howse

Firsts is my stoopid humin girl's stoopid hoomin girl. She is sleepings overs lots and she is sharings teh stoopid humin girl's bed. I ams not mindings much because she is alsos makings nice cushion. Sometimes Stoopid hoomin girl is to be bringing tall hoomin girl. I also sleeps on her, but she is more nervouses as pickings me up. As she shoulds be!

Other stoopid humins are beings friends of other stoopid hoomin girl. One is very tall hairy hoomin mans. I am decidings that he is alloweds to lives becos he is chasings away stoopid evil bastard cat. I r not likings stoopid evil bastard cat and tall hairy hoomin is to be stomping toward him and he is being stoopid and scareds and running aways like baby cat.

Heheheheh. Mine is teh evil laughs

Teh oder hoomins dat are beings allowds in howse are teh peoples who comes on teh days when stoopid hoomin girl is nowt leavings teh howse. Most days she is to to be goings outs lots, but is one days when she is nwt. This is day of strokings and fuddings.

I am likings this day.

But in teh darknesstimes there are to be comings mostly stoopid humin boys. One is not to be hafings much hairs on head, and he is always trying to give cuddlesnugs, like am babycat. Stoopid grey kitteh is nwt likings him and is thinkings that he is bad smellings. I r agreeings, for once.
Stoppid little black kitteh is not likings muches, but she is beings distractified with teh bouncy mousey on a string.

Or sometimes just with teh string.

Den is nother boy thing. Is very tall. Very, very. he is not bad for hoomin, but is too bony for to be curled up on.

Last boy thing is honorororory member of teh Mafia! I ams to be lettings hims to be joinings my mafia for he is more likes kitteh dan most hoomins and so is probly meant to be kitteh in hoomin form. Has advantage becos he is to be ables to be using teh thumbs for to getting teh fuds.


Jun. 13th, 2012 | 10:59 am
location: out
mood: cranky cranky
music: snorings

The stopid humin girl knowns as Hannah woulds like it to be knowns that she has been deleting her "facebooks". She is nots liking any book faced friends. Ha.

She is sayings that teh facing book is nots fun and she is to being boreds of it. I r glads of this because is givings her more times to be fudsings me.

She is likings me more than you book face friends

Hoomans is never making teh senses

Jun. 6th, 2012 | 01:32 pm
location: under bed
mood: irritated irritated
music: grumbly tummy

So, I is being lets out and I is catchings the squeaking snak for my noms. I is taking backs to howse for nommings because is warms and dry.

Other stoopid hooman girl is seeings my fud and she is takings from me. Insteads of bein pleased that I r catching the squeaking snak she is tellings me off like I r bad kitteh. She is takings away and is callings my stoopid hooman girl. Stoopid girls is making stoopid noises at squeaking snak, but is still not givings back.

They are putting squeaking snak in box, but is not box for fud, no, they are to be giving squeaking snak fud! Admitard... amitar... add...... It is not nice kitteh fuds they is givings, but is still fuds.

They is keepings squeaking snak instead of lettings me noms squeaking snak. At least when stoopid grey kitteh thing is tryings to gets squeaking snak he is being water sprayed. He is not liking the water sprayings. I r not getting the spraying. I r too clver.

I r knowings that I r bein silents for long times, but I r been busy. Stoopid hoomans girls went behind my backs are brought nother kitteh into howse! This is silly black kitteh and she is tryings to catch my tail. Is stoopid kitteh, not as stoopid as grey kitteh. Silly black kitteh r sleepings on my bed wif stoopid hooman girl. She are sleepings on stoopid human girl's legs, I r sleepings wherever I feels like. Sometimes I are sleepings on stoopid human girl, sometimes I r sleepings next to her, sometimes I r confuzing stoopid hooman girl by sleepings under teh bed because I r feelings likes it.

I r goings to be talkings about teh fud noms in teh hoomins howses next time stoopid hooman girl is leaving her cattop (I r thinking is what is called) at homs

A Guide to Fud Noms for Confused Kittehs (Part 1)

Oct. 13th, 2011 | 04:03 am
location: Kitchen
mood: Hungry
music: fud glorous fud

If you has gone through lifes as long as I is, you will be learnings that there are many differint fud noms that cans be entens. Some of these fud noms you will be told are Humin noms. This is stoopid. All fuds are kitteh fuds, unless we is not wantings.

So I is bringing you a easy guide to the differint fud noms you might sees.

If you is being a kitteh living in a humin house, you will be seeing a big white cold box in the fud making room. This is being calleds a FRIJJ. In the frijj humins are keepings many of their fuds. Frijj is not to be confused with colder white cold box. This cold box is Very, Very cold. You will be not likings if you is getting trapped in.

Humins go to the frijj when they is wanting to make fuds, or to feeds kittehs. Here are some zamples of fuds from frijj.

Piggy- this comes in differint types. Cans be kind of pinky and square, is called HM. Hm is nices! Can also be sort of long and flat. Is calleds BACOM. Rhymes with nom, so is clearly good fuds! Cans be also longs and round. These is SNAUSUSUSUASES! Is hards to say but is nom nom nom. Sometimes is coming out as bigger types, these types are called POK, also noms, or they is RIBS. Ribs is easier to grabs and eats than Pok, and you can eats these cause they is spare, I is hearing hoomins says! There are other types of piggy meats too, and all is good. Kittehs should try to eats all of these meats.
Chickchick- when alive these is birdy things, meanings that they is definiately made for Kittehs! Some chickchicks are big, some small chucks, some is boob part, some is leggy or flying part, and sometimes is being covered in bread. The bread kind is not as noms, but all others is goods for kittehs.
Bef- this comes from oooms, or something like that. Stupid homin girl is sometimes making ooom noises for no reasons. Bef can be chunks, or what humins calls STEK. Stek is nommy, but is difficilt to be chewings.
Fish- all kittehs is knowings what fishes is, but sometimes humins is putting strange fish types in frijj. Fishes can be in little tiny bits, or can be big fish with face. Either way, is belonging to kitteh!
Some humins are earnings enough humin monies for to buying duck, Gus and other birdy meats. All birds are belonging to kittehs. Is our job to catch birdies.

There is other fuds in frijj, these come in differint things so humins can carry them from door to frijj and from frijj to kitteh bowl.
One thing in frijj is Yo... gur...rut, yogurrut. This is being mades from milk. Is for kittehs.
Cheebes is mostly being for kittehs, apart from ones that smells bad.
Milk can be in bottles, boxes, packets and bowls. IS FOR KITTEHS!!

Many humins is putting things like carrrrrots and small trees and other things in bottom of frijj. These is not for kittehs. Is not noms and should be turning up noses at non-nom fud. Any humin is trying to feeds you with fud that is not meats, you claw out eyes- they learn lesson.

hating stopid humin girls since last year

Oct. 5th, 2011 | 12:40 am
location: big kitty bed
mood: irate irate
music: something about traitors

I am knowings that I is sayings a lost, but I is hating and am being confused by stupid homin girls, who are traitors and not deserve to live.

I is coming home after long day of leading mafia, and what does stupid homin girl do to me not longs laters? She is givings affections to non-mafia kitty! DO NOT WANT!

This is girly kitty, which I am not wanting for other reasons, and is tryings to seduce my stupid humin girls. Worst is that this is BEING seduced! This is strokings and pettings and is giving Noms! My Noms! The nice noms that comes out of the cold white box thing in food making room! this is not noms for stupid seducing kitty! That is not really noms for stupid grey kitty either, but he is gettings some from other stupid humin girl.

After they is finally stopping being seduced by girly kitty things is getting better. Stupid humin girl has put kitty bed in room for me. Is big kitty bed. Other stupid humin girl lays on it when they are watching the black box that makes the stupid noises on it. Why is stupid humin girl lying on my kitty bed? My stupid humin girl tells me is not for me, is for other stupid humin girl, but that is beings stupid. Of course bed is for me. Who else is big kitty bed for? Stupid humins.

And tonight stupid humin girl is leavings house. She is doings this soimetimes, but is always same times. Is goings out in mornings, comes back and gives me fud. Goes out laters, comes back and gives me fud. Is then in and lets me in and out and gives me fud each time. This time she is going out laters than normals after first fuddings, and she is letting me out at same time. Is well trained stupid humin, if easily seduced by stupid kitty. Stupid humin is then getting into evil car thing. Car thing is only goods for one thing- going under when is wet. I is not trustiong evil car things. She is leavings and I can nots get back into houses.

She is comings back much laters, when is very dark, is giving me fud and takings me to upstairs room and putting me on big kitty bed. See. She is even putting on kitty bed, so how can is sayings that is not kitty bed? Stupid humin.

I is tired now. I shall dreams of tasty squeaking snack fuds which run.

Stupid humans are stupid

Sep. 1st, 2011 | 12:20 pm
location: bed
mood: full full
music: *insert cat related music joke here*

So, I has reached conclusion, is infallible. Hoomins are Stoopid!

Other day I is happily napping under bed in stupid human girl's room, and then I is being pulled out. I tries to go back unders, but she is pulling me out agains. Next time she is not pulling me outs. I is winning this fights. But next day I is finding things in way of my napping space under bed. So I is sleeping on bed again. Will admit is cozy on there, but Mafia cat is not concerned with comfort for self, no.

And then strange thing is happening. The stupid human girls is getting metal thing to go in outside bit at back of house. I know metal thing from stupid boy's house. Fud is coming from it. They gather around and then fud is starting to smell nice and nommy. I is not being given any fuds, is not fairs, but then they do same thing next day. I is getting a little fud that day (also stupid grey kitty thing is getting, but I is getting more because I is more important).

For while they is not gathering around metal fud thing in outside bit, but then stupid human boy is coming to house and bringing many bags and things into house. Stupid grey kitty thing is tryings to attack bags because is STUPID, then stupid human girl is spending time in place where fud is made and kept. The fud she is making is not kitty noms, is green and leafy looking. Not kitty noms at all. Kitty noms is mades of meat. So for while I just watch, but then stupid human boy is in outside bit at back and has nother metal thing for making fud! Fud starts to be smelling nice and I is trying to gets fud, but he is threatening to put me on metal thing. Stupid human boy. I is Mafia kitty. I is not noms or fuds!

But I is still staying there hopings for fuds, and then more stupid humans come. Some stupid human girls, some stupid human boys. They are all noisy and they is eating fuds and not giving to me! I Is Mafia Kitty In This House! I Is Deservings Of Your Fuds!! Stupid grey kitty thing is runnings away, and so does not even get chance for fud (stupid grey kitty thing!) Stupid human girl is pickings me up a lot and taking be to be petted by other stupid humans, but not letting stupid human boy put me on metal thing. She is stupid for thinking that stupid human boy could get me on metal thing and keep his limbs. I is killing anyone who is trying to turn me into fuds!

Eventually all stupid humans apart from MY stupid human girls go away and then I is getting noms. Nom nom nom. Stupid grey kitty thing should not has hid.

I is not minding bout not sleepings under bed when I is getting given noms and pets.

where is she?

Aug. 3rd, 2011 | 12:28 am
location: bed
mood: irate irate

I ams confused.

I is not seeings stupid hoomin girl for days. Last I sees her she is leavings with funny bag on wheels. She is often takings funny bag on wheels when she is goings for works (cats is smarter than hoomins because they is not doings teh works!) but normally she is backs later, in time to give me noms. But she has not been back for noms. Or bed.

Other stupid hoomin girl is giving me noms instead, and she is lettings me in and out.

Not understanding at all! Stupid Hoomins!!!

That my lunch

Jun. 17th, 2011 | 11:02 am
location: finding more birds
mood: irate irate
music: bird song

I is not understanding stupid human girls at all. They is not feedings me enough (I demands to be feds every hour on teh hour!) and so I is asumings they is wantings me to catch own fuds. Is good way to get appetite and the tasty flying snacks are very good. om nom.

I is catchings and bringings back to eats. I is not eating outside like I is stupid kitty wiff no home. I has safe house to be in where is warm to eat tasty flying snack. But other stupid human girl is taking tasty flying snack off me! Is my tasty flying snack! She is not eatings it, she is getting rid of it. I is not imperssed.

At least stupid grey kitty is getting same treatment when he is catching small squeaking treat. They is shouting at him lots. Is wakings me up when they do that.

I is teh Mafia Kitty and I demand respect from stupid human girl and my tasty flying snacks!

I is also wanting to complain about stupid human girl's stupid noises when she gets things pushed through door. Is stupid and loud. She is doing weird movements she is saying is teh dancing. Is not teh dancing. Dancing better than that.

Morning habits

May. 23rd, 2011 | 10:40 am
location: out
mood: devious devious
music: 'Memory'

I is never understanding stupid human girl in morning.

Sometimes she is getting up lots of times and getting into beds again, sometimes she is only getting up once or twice and then getting into beds again. She has nasty noisy things which wakes me up and I is not liking them at all. Stupid nasty noisy things. I will eats stupid nasty noisy things once I works out what they are.

Today she is acting more stupid than normals. She is putting head upside-downs and brushings hair so she looks more stupids. She is then sittings on floor looking sads, but I is not carings because I has been feds with the crunchy fuds, and then she is divings back onto bed and squeaking like nommy mouse treat. She is grabbings me and shoving me and many-legged treat. I would have chaseded it, but I is waitings to be let out, so I is not caring. Stupid human girl is making stupid noises.

Then she is finally going down and letting me outs, but not before making more stupid noises because stupid grey kitteh has been throwing up on carpet. Stupid grey kitteh is not knowing best place to throw up is on bed!


May. 15th, 2011 | 12:21 am
location: bed
mood: annoyed annoyed
music: 'Rocky Robin'

I is not understandings stupid human girl!

She is snugglings and smooshings me all day and then she is startings shoutings at me. I is not doinng anythings wrong.

I is being lets out for my walk and I is finding tasty flying snack. I is catching and bringing back to eats. Stupid human girl is wantings to know what I is having in mouth. I is not showings her because she is not Mafia kitty and is not allowed to share tasty flying snack.

She is spottings snack, is pickings me up and is shakings me! Me! She is daring to shake me like I is stupid human baby thing.(*)

Stupid human girl is then pullings at my mouth and hittings me until I is dropping tasty flying snack. She is then shoutings at me again and she carries me away from where tasty flying snack is and takes me upstairs. I is following her back down but she is getting rid of tasty flying snack before I is able to get there!

She is then takings me back upstairs agains and putting me on bed. She is thinking that nasty dry nibbles and meaty fuds in metal things is enough for strong mafia kitty. She is wrongs!

I shall find tasty flying snack when I is going out tomorrow. I shall has my rewenge!

I is also confused because stupid human girl keeps coming home earlies or nots going out when she is meants to. She is spending more time on squashy downstairs chair. Is good for me as she is near window and can lets me in, but is confuseding

* Stupid human girl would like to apologise for this particular simile. Apparently it is quite a common one in cat language.

Always teh stupid human girls!

May. 3rd, 2011 | 12:58 pm
location: bed
mood: disgruntled disgruntled
music: meow mix

Why is I always surrounded by stupid human girls?!

Other day I is happily sleepings on bed and then stupid human girl child comes up and is picking me up. I is thinking she is taking me to fuds or is finally lettings me go outs but then she is sticking me into small plastic prison! I is not even doing anything wrong!

Small plastic prison smells of stupid grey kitty thing.

Stupid grey kitty thing keeps trying to torment me through bars of plastic prison. I will gouge his eyes out soons.

After spending long times in plastic prison I is being lifted and carried out of house and put in noisy moving vehicle and there was stupids musics and stupid human girls kept singings along. They cans not drive and so there is nother human girl, who looks like my stupid human girl. Strangeness.

They is taking me to place I does not like. It is smellings of dog and other animals. I is still wants to be out of evil plastic prison, but at least I is not having to fight off slobbery dog things. Other stupid human girl is cooing over everything, my stupid human girl is staying with me and cooing at me.

Stupid human girl type thing. I is brave mafia cat. I is not needings blanket over plastic prison or being made cooing noises at.

I is then being taken into nother room where NOTHER human girl is prodding at me. Does Not Want! Is very shamings and I would have clawed her face off, but I is being held tight by stupid human girl. New stupid human girl stabs me!!!

I is not going back to horrible place in stupid plastic prison smelling of stupid grey kitty thing!

But on other hand, when I is getting home stupid human girl is giving me ham and nice noms again. She is feeling guilties for treating me badly and shoving me in plastic prison. Ham had strange pink thing in.

Stupid human girl has nots been going out so muches and has not been wokens up by stupid loud noises in mornings. Because she is stayings still longers I has decided to make new sleeping place. I is sleepings on her chest. She is MY stupid human girl and she is keeping me locked in room still and made me go in plastic prison to nasty smelling place, so I is getting own back by using her as bed.

This is working well until day when tall stupid human girl turns up. She is tall and makes stupid noises at me. She is scared of holdings me, which means I is not being hoisted around like pillow but I still does not want! When stupid human girls is going to beds they are both in same bed and I is not knowing which I should sleeps on. So I sleeps between both. I is getting petted lots.

Not that I likes being petted like baby kitteh cat, but I is powerful and so I is feeling that stupid human girls should worship me with strokings.

After tall stupid human girl thing leaves house is beings quiet again for while, though I is kept shuts up in stupid human girl’s room and given hams and fuds there instead of in room with slippy floor. But soon stupid human girl is letting me out again. Ha. Stupid human girl thing is too weak and under my power to keeps me locked up.

And now, now I has had to put up with stupid human man, and a stupid human boy who made “Brow!” noises at me and a stupid human girl and they were making noises and sleepings in wrong rooms. At least my stupid human girl is not changing room, but stupid grey kitty thing was in other room and so he was nearer to me.

Stupid grey kitteh!

(Stupid Human Girl’s translation- We took Purrcy to the vet, my mum drove, he was given an injection of antibiotics and then tablets for a week, I had a week holiday, my best friend (who is very tall) came to stay, and then my dad and step-mum came to stay with us for a few days and my younger brother visited and he does in fact make “brow” noises at the cat)

Not understands

Apr. 1st, 2011 | 11:35 am
location: small room
mood: confused confused
music: 'Who let the Dogs Out?'

I is not understandings what is goings on now.

First I is given tunas and mackrels for fuds, strokings and pettings and comfy places on beds, and then I is locked in small room and stupid human girl's room. I is having book to poop in and fuds brought to me (that bit I is not mindings). And stupid human girls is keepings prodding at face. Is hurtings.

I is sleepings on stupid human girl's pillows again, see if that makes her gives tunas again and let me goes outside!

lefted alone

Mar. 20th, 2011 | 08:56 pm
location: Big bed in big room
mood: annoyed annoyed
music: Firefly

Stupid girl things have peoples visitings them. ONe is 'nother stupid girl thing who is cuddling and smooshing me lots, other is boy thing who makes strange noises. They are being encouraging stupid girls things in making their stupid noises and stuffs.

The strange peoples who are heres, they are sleeping in other stupid girl's bed, and stupid girl is in small room where I sleeps under bed. I sleeps there yesterday. Under beds. But then I has to go to get stupid human girl thing in morning to get her to feeds me and lets me out. I hates having to climbs up stairs in mornings. Is easier in evening when I is not so tireds.

Yesterdays and todays stupids human girls and stupid human boy thing is goings out and leavings me outs. Stupid evil grey kitty thing is sayings in house. I is betting he is being on my bed.

I is not liking havings more peoples in house. THey is taking up more spaces on my settee! Is not fair.

Stupid humans.


Mar. 15th, 2011 | 12:32 am
location: stupid girl's bed
mood: devious devious

I has been findings nice places to sleeps.

Stupid human girl child lefted me alone with evil grey kitty and other stupid human girl for whole weekend. Evil grey kitty attacked me at every chance. I fought back of course, but evil grey kitty thing fights dirty

I is sleepings under bed in other room. There are soft things under bed, like animals but they is not breathings. Right now I is sleepings on stupid human girl's bed on pillows. Because she is been trained, she is letting me stay here instead of moving. Stupid human girl does not need so many pillows. I is needing pillows.

Mine is an evil laugh.

mad bastard cat strikes again

Feb. 7th, 2011 | 11:21 am
location: bed
mood: angry angry

Is turns out that both stupid human girl childs are good at human shields.

I is out in evening for wanderings and toilet, and am cornered by mad bastard cat. Mad bastard cat is teh evil! he is cornering me and trying to eat my liver. I is not fightings back because I is not wantings to get blood on claws. Is taking ages to get blood off claws.

I hears stupid human girl child calling name, and so does mad bastard cat. She comes round corner and mad bastard cat sees her too. Mad bastard cat is chasing after stupid human girl child as she runs back to house, I is able to not be cornered.

Stupid human girl child is running into house. Mad bastard cat is on window ledge. MY Window Ledge!! Both stupid human girls come out of house, other girl has ham. My Ham! She draws mad bastard cat away, stupid human girl child comes to get me. I is not wanting to go nears mad bastard cat. I remembers what happened last time!

Suddenly mad bastard cat is attacking other girl. She cries out, stupid human girl child shrieks in my ear. I has sensitive hearings! Stupid human girl child. Other girl is going back in house. Mad bastard cat starts coming towards stupid human girl child. She is carrying me, I is feeling her heart go bmpbmpbmpbmpbmpbmpbmpbmpbmp. I is not scared. I is stayings quiet though, cos I is not wanting to bring attentions to being carried like soppy cat.

She is tricking Mad bastard cat into going one way and then she is runnings with me into house and lockings door. She is shakings. I is put in bedroom, but then stupid human girl child is goings away and leavings me there. WHY?!

Turns out she is helpings to clean up other girl. She is bleedings on leg from mad bastard cat. Stupid human girl child eventually is comings up and is huggings me. I is letting her cos she is beings good human shield.

I is not wantings to go out today. Is very windy today.

I is not scared of Mad bastard cat.

wakings up

Feb. 1st, 2011 | 11:23 am
location: bed
mood: sleepy sleepy
music: 'Year of the Cat'

I is being waking up by stupid human girl child.

She is jumpings out of bed and throwings quilts over me. I is being smothered. I is not liking being smothered.

She is apologising after, but I is not impressed. I will pee on bed laters.

She is also treating me like big smooshy toy kitty, pulling me into cuddles on squashy chair thing downstairs. She is not letting me go. I is not impressed.


Jan. 19th, 2011 | 01:53 pm
mood: angry angry

Why is journal Pink?! I Is Terrifying Mafia Cat! Not Pink Girly Silly Cat!!!

I demand retrobutions!!!

I is suspecting stupid human girl type thing

Iz Not Pillow

Jan. 18th, 2011 | 01:17 pm
location: floor
music: 'Siamese Cat Song'- Lady and the Tramp

Stupid human girl type thing keeps using me as pillow. I iz not approvings. dis must stops or I is takings revenge with claws!!

On other hands, stupid human girl type thing is also puttings up pictures on this funny thing. I has now two pictures I can changes at wills. I cans be grumpy cat or sleepy cat. I is not grumpy, I is Mafia Cat!! I demands picture of me with Mafia kitties!

I has now got crunchy noms in bedroom so I is not having to go down to battle with evil grey kitty thing for fuds. I is no understanding why other human girl type thing always is shoutings when I gets fuds. Bowl was mine first. I is no carings if stupid evil grey kitty thing eats from it now!


Jan. 11th, 2011 | 10:33 am
location: bed
music: 'Smelly Cat'

Now when snows is gone, I has to put ups with RAINS?! I do nots like rains. stupidd rains.

I has been sleepings on stupid human girl child's bed agens. Is compfy. She is still playings with strange box thing on lap. She gots annoyeds wif it and started sayings things as if it cuds hear her. I wud tell her it can no hear, but she is stupids.

I is finding catty place where I is ables to write letters to peoples. Some kitties writes letters to stupid human girl childs around worlds. If I writes leters to my stupid human girl child, maybe she gets rid of evil grey kitty!

I is not gettings up in mornings so early now. I is liking lie in. Stupid human girl child lets me because she is been trained to follow my every whim. But then she is being leaving me wif other stupid human girl child and the evil grey kitty thing. Why is she starting to go outs again. Two weekses she spends in beds wif me and is not makings me go out in snows or rains, but now she is gettings up agaens.

At least nice bed place does not smeell bad.

I has comfy place to sleeps under other bed. Is comfy. Stupid human girl child always comes to finds me.

At least she is not putting me in rains. She is putting me on bed. She is no completely stupids.

I is forgetting to say! Evil bastard cat keeps comings to window. Is been chased off by other human girl child. I is not scareds of evil bastard cat, but I rather save my energy than fight